{"id":13497,"date":"2021-03-03T13:38:58","date_gmt":"2021-03-03T16:38:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/?p=13497"},"modified":"2021-03-03T13:38:23","modified_gmt":"2021-03-03T16:38:23","slug":"pilulas-de-humor-judaico-12","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pilulas-de-humor-judaico-12\/","title":{"rendered":"P\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (12)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; color: #000000; font-size: 18pt;\"><strong>Classifica\u00e7\u00e3o Judaica das Doen\u00e7as<\/strong><\/span><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; color: #000000; font-size: 18pt;\">P &#8211; Como \u00e9 o Alzheimer judaico?\u00a0<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; color: #000000; font-size: 18pt;\">R &#8211; Voc\u00ea esquece tudo, menos a culpa.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em><strong><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; color: #000000; font-size: 18pt;\">Amor de M\u00e3e<\/span><\/strong><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; color: #000000; font-size: 18pt;\">Dona Frida estava tendo s\u00e9rios problemas de relacionamento com o filho e resolveu lev\u00e1-lo ao Psicanalista. Depois de v\u00e1rias sess\u00f5es o m\u00e9dico a chamou ao consult\u00f3rio:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; color: #000000; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; &#8220;O seu filho sofre do Complexo de \u00c9dipo&#8221;.<\/span><\/em><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; color: #000000; font-size: 18pt;\"> &#8211; &#8220;N\u00e3o me interessa a doen\u00e7a, desde que ele me ame&#8221;.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; color: #000000; font-size: 18pt;\">An\u00fancio na Gazeta Judaica:<\/span><\/strong><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; color: #000000; font-size: 18pt;\"> &#8211; &#8220;O Senhor e a Senhora Moiche Levy anunciam com alegria o nascimento de seu talentoso filho, o Doutor David Levy.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"13498\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pilulas-de-humor-judaico-12\/baby-1512014_960_720\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/baby-1512014_960_720.jpg?fit=960%2C673&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"960,673\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;8&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;NIKON D5100&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;230&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;100&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.0025&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"baby-1512014_960_720\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/baby-1512014_960_720.jpg?fit=300%2C210&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/baby-1512014_960_720.jpg?fit=640%2C449&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-13498\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/baby-1512014_960_720.jpg?resize=300%2C210&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"210\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/baby-1512014_960_720.jpg?resize=300%2C210&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/baby-1512014_960_720.jpg?resize=768%2C538&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/baby-1512014_960_720.jpg?w=960&amp;ssl=1 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Classifica\u00e7\u00e3o Judaica das Doen\u00e7as P &#8211; Como \u00e9 o Alzheimer judaico?\u00a0 R &#8211; Voc\u00ea esquece tudo, menos a culpa. Amor de M\u00e3e Dona Frida estava tendo s\u00e9rios problemas de relacionamento com o filho e resolveu lev\u00e1-lo ao Psicanalista. Depois de v\u00e1rias sess\u00f5es o m\u00e9dico a chamou ao consult\u00f3rio: &#8211; &#8220;O seu filho sofre do Complexo [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":13498,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13497","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sem-categoria"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>P\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (12) | Blog do Guelmann<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pilulas-de-humor-judaico-12\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pt_BR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"P\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (12) | Blog do Guelmann\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Classifica\u00e7\u00e3o Judaica das Doen\u00e7as P &#8211; Como \u00e9 o Alzheimer judaico?\u00a0 R &#8211; Voc\u00ea esquece tudo, menos a culpa. 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O pai n\u00e3o aprovava o namoro e de vez em quando dizia ao rapaz que a diferen\u00e7a de religi\u00e3o acabaria por atrapalhar, mas como os jovens se gostavam muito\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/CHAMINE.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/CHAMINE.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/CHAMINE.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/CHAMINE.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/CHAMINE.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":19505,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pilulas-de-humor-judaico-23\/","url_meta":{"origin":13497,"position":1},"title":"P\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (23)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"23 de junho de 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"O Judeu Convertido Um homem judeu de nascimento e convertido ao Catolicismo estava andando com um amigo corcunda e, ao passar por uma Catedral, disse: - \"Sabe, antigamente eu era judeu\". E o amigo respondeu:\u00a0\u00a0 - \"\u00c9, e antigamente eu era corcunda\".\u00a0 Dist\u00farbio de Personalidade Judaica Sabe qual \u00e9 o\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Beb%C3%AA.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Beb%C3%AA.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Beb%C3%AA.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Beb%C3%AA.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":25115,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/tres-na-quarta-de-humor-judaico-26\/","url_meta":{"origin":13497,"position":2},"title":"Tr\u00eas na Quarta de Humor Judaico","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"26 de fevereiro de 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Ora\u00e7\u00e3o de M\u00e3e O Rabino conversando com Davizinho, na Escola Maternal: -\u00a0 \"Ent\u00e3o, querido, voc\u00ea disse que tua m\u00e3e reza por voc\u00ea todas as noites, n\u00e3o \u00e9? Isso \u00e9 muito lindo, \u00e9 uma obriga\u00e7\u00e3o das m\u00e3es... E o que ela fala?\" O pequeno respondeu: - \"Ela diz 'obrigado, meu D'us,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/HojePR-16.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/HojePR-16.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/HojePR-16.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/HojePR-16.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/HojePR-16.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":25290,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/tres-na-quarta-de-humor-judaico-37\/","url_meta":{"origin":13497,"position":3},"title":"Tr\u00eas na Quarta de Humor Judaico","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"14 de maio de 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"R\u00e1pidos Como um Raio O bilion\u00e1rio Nathan Birnbaum tinha v\u00e1rios filhos e filhas, e tanto ele quanto a esposa h\u00e1 muito desejavam um neto. Durante um jantar com toda a fam\u00edlia, ele olhou ao redor da mesa, mirou filhos, filhas, noras e genros e disse, sem esconder o des\u00e2nimo:\u2014 N\u00e3o\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/APAGAR-2.jpg?fit=500%2C376&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1809,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/ah-essas-adoraveis-maes-judias\/","url_meta":{"origin":13497,"position":4},"title":"Ah, Essas Ador\u00e1veis M\u00e3es Judias!","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"30 de novembro de 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"1 - A m\u00e3e judia estava na janela, gritando para o filho que brincava com os amiguinhos na rua: - \"David, entre j\u00e1!\" Acostumado ao sistema da m\u00e3e, o menino perguntou: - \"Porque, m\u00e3e, eu estou com fome?\" E ela esclareceu: - \"N\u00e3o, voc\u00ea est\u00e1 com frio\". 2 - Prov\u00e9rbio\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/king-solomon.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/king-solomon.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/king-solomon.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/king-solomon.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/king-solomon.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":19416,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pilulas-de-humor-judaico-22\/","url_meta":{"origin":13497,"position":5},"title":"P\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (22)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"9 de junho de 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"O Rabino e Suas Ora\u00e7\u00f5es O Rabino andava aborrecido com o pequeno volume de dinheiro que seus fieis estavam dando para caridade e decidiu orar para que os ricos fossem mais generosos com os pobres. Depois de alguns dias, a esposa perguntou: - \"Tua ora\u00e7\u00e3o foi atendida?\" E o Rabino\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Alfaiate.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Alfaiate.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Alfaiate.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Alfaiate.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13497","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13497"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13497\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13498"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13497"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13497"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13497"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}