{"id":14588,"date":"2018-07-10T18:55:22","date_gmt":"2018-07-10T21:55:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/?p=14588"},"modified":"2018-07-10T19:06:19","modified_gmt":"2018-07-10T22:06:19","slug":"e-se-a-caverna-fosse-aqui-no-brasil","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/e-se-a-caverna-fosse-aqui-no-brasil\/","title":{"rendered":"E Se A Caverna Fosse Aqui no Brasil?"},"content":{"rendered":"

O mundo respirou aliviado, hoje, com a complementa\u00e7\u00e3o do resgate dos meninos que estavam presos na caverna na Tail\u00e2ndia. <\/span><\/p>\n

Ao contr\u00e1rio da Copa do Mundo, nesse caso, com certeza, todas as torcidas eram uma s\u00f3.<\/span><\/p>\n

Aqui no Brasil, onde os humoristas n\u00e3o perdem tempo, j\u00e1 est\u00e1 circulando o texto que sugere o que aconteceria se o epis\u00f3dio acontecesse aqui:<\/span><\/p>\n

Parab\u00e9ns \u00e0 Tail\u00e2ndia.<\/span>
\nTodos retirados da caverna.<\/span><\/p>\n

Se o epis\u00f3dio fosse no Brasil, c<\/span>omo resolver\u00edamos?<\/span><\/p>\n

1- Cria\u00e7\u00e3o do Minist\u00e9rio Nacional das Cavernas e negocia\u00e7\u00e3o para indica\u00e7\u00e3o de cargos: <\/span>Ministro<\/span>, Assessores, Secret\u00e1rios. Entram partidos da oposi\u00e7\u00e3o e da base aliada.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

2- Cria\u00e7\u00e3o das Secretarias Estaduais das Cavernas, tamb\u00e9m com indica\u00e7\u00f5es de cargos: CAVERJ, CAVESP, CAVEMG, CAVESC, CAVEBA, CAVEGO, CAVERS, CAVEAC, CAVEAL, CAVEAP, CAVEAM, CAVECE, CAVEDF, CAVEMA, CAVEMT, CAVEMS, CAVEPA, CAVEPB, CAVEPE, CAVEPI, CAVERN, CAVERO, CAVERR, CAVESE, CAVETO, CAVES.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

3- Cria\u00e7\u00e3o da CAVERNOBRAS Empresa Brasileira de Cavernas. (Concursos p\u00fablicos).<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

4- Vota\u00e7\u00e3o no Congresso e Senado de um or\u00e7amento extra no valor de 14 bilh\u00f5es, para o resgate de 12 meninos + 1 adulto (um adulto custa = 2 meninos).<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

5- In\u00edcio das obras de remo\u00e7\u00e3o da montanha, com as mesmas empresas da Copa do Mundo e Olimp\u00edada.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

6- Um deputado denuncia irregularidades.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

7- \u00c9 instalada a CPI das Cavernas.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

8- Come\u00e7a o concurso da Miss Caverna.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

9- Lan\u00e7ado o funk da Cavernas, que ser\u00e1 o hit do pr\u00f3ximo carnaval.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

10- Greve: a Equipe de Resgate para, ap\u00f3s 3 meses sem sal\u00e1rio.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

11- A greve \u00e9 considerada inconstitucional e \u00e9 ordenado o retorno imediato dos trabalhos.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

12- Acordo com os Sindicatos p\u00f5e fim \u00e0 mobiliza\u00e7\u00e3o.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

13- Trabalhos s\u00e3o mantidos, por\u00e9m lentos. Os fornecedores atrasam entrega, alegando falta de repasse.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

14- Para otimizar as opera\u00e7\u00f5es, criada a ANACAV Ag\u00eancia Nacional Reguladora de Cavernas<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

15- Passados 4 anos, problema da Caverna continua: Ap\u00f3s as elei\u00e7\u00f5es, ser\u00e1 heran\u00e7a maldita para o pr\u00f3ximo governo.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"
\nGruta no C\u00e2nion do Para\u00edso Talhado
\nRio S\u00e3o Francisco
\nSergipe<\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

O mundo respirou aliviado, hoje, com a complementa\u00e7\u00e3o do resgate dos meninos que estavam presos na caverna na Tail\u00e2ndia. Ao contr\u00e1rio da Copa do Mundo, nesse caso, com certeza, todas as torcidas eram uma s\u00f3. Aqui no Brasil, onde os humoristas n\u00e3o perdem tempo, j\u00e1 est\u00e1 circulando o texto que sugere o que aconteceria se […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":14589,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14588","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sem-categoria"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nE Se A Caverna Fosse Aqui no Brasil? | Blog do Guelmann<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/e-se-a-caverna-fosse-aqui-no-brasil\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pt_BR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"E Se A Caverna Fosse Aqui no Brasil? | Blog do Guelmann\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"O mundo respirou aliviado, hoje, com a complementa\u00e7\u00e3o do resgate dos meninos que estavam presos na caverna na Tail\u00e2ndia. Ao contr\u00e1rio da Copa do Mundo, nesse caso, com certeza, todas as torcidas eram uma s\u00f3. 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