    {"id":15177,"date":"2024-05-22T07:39:00","date_gmt":"2024-05-22T10:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/?p=15177"},"modified":"2024-05-23T09:55:10","modified_gmt":"2024-05-23T12:55:10","slug":"coletanea-de-humor-judaico","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/coletanea-de-humor-judaico\/","title":{"rendered":"Colet\u00e2nea de Humor Judaico"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">1. Na porta da Sinagoga:<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\"><em>&#8211; &#8220;Sob a mesma administra\u00e7\u00e3o h\u00e1 5.784 anos&#8221;.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">2. Hora da refei\u00e7\u00e3o num v\u00f4o da El Al:<br \/>\n&#8211; &#8220;<em>O senhor gostaria de jantar?&#8221;<\/em> &#8211; a comiss\u00e1ria de bordo pergunta a Moshe.<br \/>\n&#8211; &#8220;<em>Quais s\u00e3o as op\u00e7\u00f5es?&#8221;<\/em>\u00a0&#8211; responde Moshe.<br \/>\n&#8211; &#8220;<em>Sim ou n\u00e3o&#8221;<\/em> &#8211; ela diz.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">3. Aviso no mict\u00f3rio num banheiro da Universidade Hebraica de Jerusal\u00e9m:<br \/>\n<em>&#8211; &#8220;O futuro do povo judeu est\u00e1 em suas m\u00e3os&#8221;.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">4. Ao receber a correspond\u00eancia uma manh\u00e3, o Rabino abriu um envelope e tirou uma \u00fanica folha de papel, onde estava escrita apenas uma palavra:<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">&#8211; <em>&#8220;Shmock&#8221;<\/em> (tradu\u00e7\u00e3o livre: bob\u00e3o, trouxa, babaca, etc.). <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">No servi\u00e7o de Shabbat, na sexta-feira seguinte, ele anunciou:<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">&#8211; &#8220;<em>Eu conhe\u00e7o muitas pessoas que escrevem cartas e esquecem de assinar seus nomes, mas esta semana recebi a carta de algu\u00e9m que assinou seu nome&#8230; E esqueceu de escrever a carta&#8221;.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">5. Tr\u00eas senhoras judias se encontraram para um ch\u00e1.\u00a0<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">Assim que sentaram, uma respirou profundamente e soltou um longo &#8220;<em>oy&#8221; <\/em>(tradu\u00e7\u00e3o livre: &#8220;ai-ai-ai&#8221;, assim como um suspiro que denota des\u00e2nimo). <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">A segunda, com a voz cansada, repetiu:<br \/>\n&#8211; <em>&#8220;Oy&#8221;<\/em>.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">A terceira disse tranquilamente:<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\"><em>&#8211; &#8220;Meninas, eu pensei que hav\u00edamos concordado em n\u00e3o falar sobre os filhos&#8230;&#8221;<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">6. Em um restaurante um gar\u00e7om se aproximou da mesa cheia de senhoras judias e perguntou:<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\"><em>&#8211; &#8220;H\u00e1 alguma coisa que est\u00e1 em ordem?&#8221;<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">7. Em Saint Louis, no Mississ\u00edpi, um navio da marinha americana chegou ao porto para uma semana de exerc\u00edcios navais. Na primeira noite, logo ap\u00f3s atracar, o capit\u00e3o recebeu a seguinte carta da mulher de um rico fazendeiro:<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">&#8211; <em>&#8220;Caro Capit\u00e3o, 5\u00aa-feira ser\u00e1 o baile de debutante da minha filha Melinda. Gostaria que o Senhor enviasse quatro oficiais bem vestidos e de boas maneiras, solteiros, para participar da dan\u00e7a. Eles devem chegar \u00e0s 8 da noite, preparados para uma t\u00edpica noite sulina de conversa e dan\u00e7a com ador\u00e1veis jovens senhoritas. Um \u00faltimo ponto: n<\/em><em>\u00e3o mande judeus. Aqui n\u00f3s n\u00e3o gostamos de judeus.&#8221;<\/em><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">&#8211; \u00c0s 8 horas da 5\u00aa-feira, a senhora na casa ouviu batidas na porta, e quando abriu se deparou com quatro jovens oficiais, impec\u00e1veis em seus uniformes, bem apessoados e &#8211; detalhe &#8211; todos negros.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">Irritada e surpresa, ela se recomp\u00f4s e disse:<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\"><em>&#8211; &#8220;Deve haver algum engano&#8230;&#8221;<\/em><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\"><em>&#8211; &#8220;Madame&#8221;<\/em> &#8211; respondeu um deles, &#8220;<em>o Capit\u00e3o Abraham Goldberg nunca se engana&#8230;&#8221;<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_23429\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-23429\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"23429\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/coletanea-de-humor-judaico\/aerial-shot-of-big-military-ships-in-a-harbor-during-winter\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/HojePR-1-scaled.jpg?fit=2560%2C1706&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"2560,1706\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;An aerial shot of big military ships in a harbor during winter&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;Aerial shot of big military ships in a harbor during winter&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Aerial shot of big military ships in a harbor during winter\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;An aerial shot of big military ships in a harbor during winter&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/HojePR-1-scaled.jpg?fit=640%2C426&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-23429\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/HojePR-1.jpg?resize=300%2C200&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/HojePR-1-scaled.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/HojePR-1-scaled.jpg?resize=1024%2C682&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/HojePR-1-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C512&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/HojePR-1-scaled.jpg?resize=1536%2C1023&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/HojePR-1-scaled.jpg?resize=2048%2C1364&amp;ssl=1 2048w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/HojePR-1-scaled.jpg?resize=750%2C500&amp;ssl=1 750w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/HojePR-1-scaled.jpg?w=1280&amp;ssl=1 1280w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/HojePR-1-scaled.jpg?w=1920&amp;ssl=1 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-23429\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.freepik.com\/photo-editor\/new-artboard?photo=https%3A%2F%2Fdownloadscdn6.freepik.com%2F181624%2F27%2F26819.jpg%3Ffilename%3Daerial-shot-big-military-ships-harbor-winter.jpg%26token%3Dexp%3D1716321474%7Ehmac%3D21e0282401ad13c5d44f36166dbf7910&amp;from_view=detail&amp;id=12040326\"><em><strong><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"> Foto: Freepik<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>1. Na porta da Sinagoga: &#8211; &#8220;Sob a mesma administra\u00e7\u00e3o h\u00e1 5.784 anos&#8221;. 2. Hora da refei\u00e7\u00e3o num v\u00f4o da El Al: &#8211; &#8220;O senhor gostaria de jantar?&#8221; &#8211; a comiss\u00e1ria de bordo pergunta a Moshe. &#8211; &#8220;Quais s\u00e3o as op\u00e7\u00f5es?&#8221;\u00a0&#8211; responde Moshe. &#8211; &#8220;Sim ou n\u00e3o&#8221; &#8211; ela diz. 3. Aviso no mict\u00f3rio num [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":23429,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15177","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sem-categoria"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Colet\u00e2nea de Humor Judaico | Blog do Guelmann<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/coletanea-de-humor-judaico\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pt_BR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Colet\u00e2nea de Humor Judaico | Blog do Guelmann\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"1. 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