    {"id":15311,"date":"2018-11-27T19:34:44","date_gmt":"2018-11-27T21:34:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/?p=15311"},"modified":"2018-11-27T19:34:44","modified_gmt":"2018-11-27T21:34:44","slug":"o-porre-de-manny-shloser","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/o-porre-de-manny-shloser\/","title":{"rendered":"O Porre de Manny Shloser"},"content":{"rendered":"<p id=\"tw-target-text\" class=\"tw-data-text tw-ta tw-text-small\" dir=\"ltr\" data-placeholder=\"Tradu\u00e7\u00e3o\"><span lang=\"pt\" style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">Manny\u00a0Shloser avisou a mulher Ruth que depois do trabalho ia sair com os colegas. Conhecendo o pr\u00f3prio marido e os amigos dele, Ruth pediu para que n\u00e3o exagerasse na bebida e voltasse cedo.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"tw-data-text tw-ta tw-text-small\" dir=\"ltr\" data-placeholder=\"Tradu\u00e7\u00e3o\"><span lang=\"pt\" style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">Mas, como aconteceu em todas as outras vezes, ele fez exatamente ao contr\u00e1rio. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"tw-data-text tw-ta tw-text-small\" dir=\"ltr\" data-placeholder=\"Tradu\u00e7\u00e3o\"><span lang=\"pt\" style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">Manny chegou em casa as 2h da madrugada e, b\u00eabado como estava, ficou preocupado em n\u00e3o acordar a esposa. Tirou os sapatos e p\u00e9 ante p\u00e9 foi em dire\u00e7\u00e3o \u00e0s escadas que levavam ao quarto. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"tw-data-text tw-ta tw-text-small\" dir=\"ltr\" data-placeholder=\"Tradu\u00e7\u00e3o\"><span lang=\"pt\" style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">Mas, tonto, ele calculou mal um dos passos e para n\u00e3o cair teve que se segurar agarrando o corrim\u00e3o. Assim mesmo seu corpo balan\u00e7ou e ele aterrissou pesada e dolorosamente sobre a pr\u00f3pria bunda, quebrando duas pequenas garrafas de u\u00edsque que levava nos bolsos traseiros. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"tw-data-text tw-ta tw-text-small\" dir=\"ltr\" data-placeholder=\"Tradu\u00e7\u00e3o\"><span lang=\"pt\" style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">De alguma forma Manny conseguiu n\u00e3o gritar de dor. Gemendo baixinho e s\u00f3 pensando nos danos, levantou e lentamente foi mancando at\u00e9 o espelho do corredor. Ele puxou a camisa, baixou a cal\u00e7a e a cueca e viu, chocado, que as duas n\u00e1degas estavam muito cortadas e sangrando em v\u00e1rios lugares. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"tw-data-text tw-ta tw-text-small\" dir=\"ltr\" data-placeholder=\"Tradu\u00e7\u00e3o\"><span lang=\"pt\" style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">Ent\u00e3o ele lembrou do estojo de primeiros socorros. Abriu o arm\u00e1rio do corredor, separou a caixa de band-aids e voltou ao espelho. Ali foi abrindo os curativos e colocando um em cada lugar onde via sangue.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"tw-data-text tw-ta tw-text-small\" dir=\"ltr\" data-placeholder=\"Tradu\u00e7\u00e3o\"><span lang=\"pt\" style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">Quando terminou ele escondeu a caixa vazia e foi cambaleando at\u00e9 a cama, onde se jogou.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"tw-data-text tw-ta tw-text-small\" dir=\"ltr\" data-placeholder=\"Tradu\u00e7\u00e3o\"><span lang=\"pt\" style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\"> J\u00e1 de manh\u00e3 ele acordou, tonto da ressaca e com a bunda doendo. A primeira coisa que viu foi a mulher olhando para ele. Ao ver que ele havia acordado, Ruth falou:<br \/>\n<em>&#8211; &#8220;Voc\u00ea estava b\u00eabado ontem a noite, n\u00e3o estava?&#8221; <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"tw-data-text tw-ta tw-text-small\" dir=\"ltr\" data-placeholder=\"Tradu\u00e7\u00e3o\"><span lang=\"pt\" style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">Simulando indigna\u00e7\u00e3o, Manny respondeu:<br \/>\n<em>&#8211; &#8220;Claro que n\u00e3o! Porque voc\u00ea est\u00e1 dizendo uma coisa t\u00e3o horr\u00edvel?&#8221; <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"tw-data-text tw-ta tw-text-small\" dir=\"ltr\" data-placeholder=\"Tradu\u00e7\u00e3o\"><span lang=\"pt\" style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">E Ruth respondeu:<br \/>\n<em>&#8211; &#8220;Bom, pode \u200b\u200bser pela porta da frente que foi deixada aberta a noite toda; pode ser pelos cacos de vidro nas das escadas; pode ser pelas gotas de sangue espalhadas pela casa; pode ser at\u00e9 pelos teus olhos injetados de sangue. Mas, na verdade, \u00e9 pelos band-aids colados no espelho do corredor.&#8221;<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"text-align: center;\" data-placeholder=\"Tradu\u00e7\u00e3o\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"15313\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/o-porre-de-manny-shloser\/band-aid\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/band-aid.jpg?fit=1600%2C1214&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1600,1214\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"band-aid\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/band-aid.jpg?fit=300%2C228&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/band-aid.jpg?fit=640%2C486&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-15313\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/band-aid.jpg?resize=300%2C228&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"228\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/band-aid.jpg?resize=300%2C228&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/band-aid.jpg?resize=768%2C583&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/band-aid.jpg?resize=1024%2C777&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/band-aid.jpg?w=1600&amp;ssl=1 1600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/band-aid.jpg?w=1280&amp;ssl=1 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Manny\u00a0Shloser avisou a mulher Ruth que depois do trabalho ia sair com os colegas. Conhecendo o pr\u00f3prio marido e os amigos dele, Ruth pediu para que n\u00e3o exagerasse na bebida e voltasse cedo. Mas, como aconteceu em todas as outras vezes, ele fez exatamente ao contr\u00e1rio. Manny chegou em casa as 2h da madrugada e, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":15313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sem-categoria"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>O Porre de Manny Shloser | Blog do Guelmann<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/o-porre-de-manny-shloser\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pt_BR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"O Porre de Manny Shloser | Blog do Guelmann\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Manny\u00a0Shloser avisou a mulher Ruth que depois do trabalho ia sair com os colegas. 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