    {"id":156,"date":"2022-03-17T18:10:00","date_gmt":"2022-03-17T21:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/duas-de-rabinos\/"},"modified":"2022-03-17T18:12:10","modified_gmt":"2022-03-17T21:12:10","slug":"duas-de-rabinos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/duas-de-rabinos\/","title":{"rendered":"Duas de Rabinos"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">1 &#8211; Um Rabino estava fazendo seu primeiro serm\u00e3o na Congrega\u00e7\u00e3o para a qual rec\u00e9m havia sido contratado e a certa altura acenou para um auxiliar e lhe disse:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">&#8211; \u201cVeja, ali na terceira fila, aquele homem est\u00e1 dormindo.\u201d<\/span><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">O homem respondeu:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">&#8211; &#8220;Rabino, como o senhor \u00e9 novo aqui, vou lhe explicar como as coisas funcionam em nossa Sinagoga: voc\u00ea fez ele dormir, voc\u00ea vai acord\u00e1-lo\u201d.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">2 &#8211; Um Rabino e um Padre, amigos que costumavam se encontrar, resolveram entrar num bar para espairecer e conversar enquanto tomavam um drinque, mas n\u00e3o perceberam que o local era frequentado pelo p\u00fablico gay.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">Quando tinham acabado de sentar e pedir as bebidas,\u00a0um rapag\u00e3o musculoso aproximou-se e convidou o Padre para dan\u00e7ar.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">O Padre, horrorizado, ficou mudo e completamente sem a\u00e7\u00e3o. S\u00f3 lembrou de balbuciar uma ora\u00e7\u00e3o e em seguida pediu socorro ao Rabino:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">&#8211; \u201cPor favor, me ajude a sair dessa situa\u00e7\u00e3o!\u201d<\/span><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">Imediatamente o Rabino levantou-se, chegou perto do rapaz e disse alguma coisa ao seu ouvido.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">Aliviado, o Padre viu o rapag\u00e3o se afastar e com a voz ainda tr\u00eamula, disse ao Rabino:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">&#8211; \u201cN\u00e3o tenho como te agradecer. Voc\u00ea me salvou da maior encrenca da minha vida. O que voc\u00ea disse para ele?\u201d<\/span><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">E o Rabino respondeu:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\">&#8211; \u201cDisse que estamos em lua de mel!\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #808080; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\"><em><strong>Gosta do Humor Judaico? <\/strong><\/em><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #808080; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\"><em><strong>Se voc\u00ea gostou da publica\u00e7\u00e3o, compartilhe o link clicando nos \u00edcones abaixo. N\u00c3O COPIE E COLE. Com isso voc\u00ea respeitar\u00e1 e valorizar\u00e1 meu trabalho de pesquisa, tradu\u00e7\u00e3o e adapta\u00e7\u00e3o do melhor do Humor Judaico<\/strong><\/em><\/span>.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"22750\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/duas-de-rabinos\/bar-11\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/BAR.jpg?fit=1920%2C1153&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1920,1153\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"BAR\" 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[&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":22750,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sem-categoria"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - 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Ele havia dito que queria que o Rabino estivesse ao seu lado nos \u00faltimos momentos. Deitado na cama do hospital, ele come\u00e7ou a se agitar e fazer movimentos como se quisesse falar. O Rabino, sentado ao lado da cama, inclinou-se silenciosamente e\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/UTI-300x201.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":22704,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/nao-da-para-enganar-um-rabino-sabio\/","url_meta":{"origin":156,"position":1},"title":"N\u00e3o D\u00e1 Para Enganar Um Rabino S\u00e1bio","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"24 de fevereiro de 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Wolf, um pequeno comerciante da Litu\u00e2nia, ouviu extasiado o serm\u00e3o do Rabino num s\u00e1bado na Sinagoga. Naquela noite, em especial, o religioso pregou: - \u201cAquele que \u00e9 pobre nesta vida ser\u00e1 rico no mundo vindouro; quem \u00e9 rico aqui, por decreto de D'us, ser\u00e1 pobre no pr\u00f3ximo mundo, pois todos\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/MOEDAS-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/MOEDAS-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/MOEDAS-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/MOEDAS-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/MOEDAS-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":25156,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/tres-na-quarta-de-humor-judaico-29\/","url_meta":{"origin":156,"position":2},"title":"Tr\u00eas na Quarta de Humor Judaico","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"19 de mar\u00e7o de 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Pre\u00e7o Fixo Negociado Marcos Goldstein foi \u00e0 loja de roupas masculinas para comprar um terno e, assim que entrou, disse ao vendedor: \u2014 \"Bom dia, senhor. Vim a esta loja porque n\u00e3o gosto de pechinchar\". \u2014 \"Bem, ent\u00e3o o senhor veio ao lugar certo\" \u2014 respondeu ele, acrescentando: \u2014 \"Trabalhamos\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/HojePR-17.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/HojePR-17.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/HojePR-17.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":174,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/o-rabino-a-inundacao-e-o-resgate\/","url_meta":{"origin":156,"position":3},"title":"O Rabino, a Inunda\u00e7\u00e3o e o Resgate","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"10 de fevereiro de 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Certa vez come\u00e7ou a chover forte na regi\u00e3o do vale do Mississippi. O rio subiu e passou a amea\u00e7ar todas as casas, incluindo a do Rabino local. Quando a \u00e1gua j\u00e1 estava entrando no t\u00e9rreo da resid\u00eancia, um barco da Defesa Civil chegou e um dos homens gritou: - \"Rabi,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/INUNDACAO.jpg?fit=1074%2C806&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/INUNDACAO.jpg?fit=1074%2C806&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/INUNDACAO.jpg?fit=1074%2C806&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/INUNDACAO.jpg?fit=1074%2C806&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/INUNDACAO.jpg?fit=1074%2C806&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15873,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/o-conselho-do-rabino-ao-judeu-piedoso-e-complicado\/","url_meta":{"origin":156,"position":4},"title":"O Conselho do Rabino ao Judeu Piedoso (e Complicado)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"11 de fevereiro de 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Um judeu piedoso foi conversar com seu Rabino e disse: - \"Rabino, minha mulher n\u00e3o me deixa viver, me ofende, me maltrata, me humilha\". O Rabino respondeu: - \"Pe\u00e7a o div\u00f3rcio\". E o homem respondeu: - \"Rabino, como eu vou me divorciar se eu gosto dela?\" O Rabino: - \"Ent\u00e3o\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Brabo.jpg?fit=719%2C340&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Brabo.jpg?fit=719%2C340&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Brabo.jpg?fit=719%2C340&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Brabo.jpg?fit=719%2C340&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":23603,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/sexta-do-humor-e-da-cultura-judaica-o-rabino-o-padre-e-os-ladroes\/","url_meta":{"origin":156,"position":5},"title":"Sexta do Humor e da Cultura Judaica &#8211; O Rabino, o Padre e os Ladr\u00f5es","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"4 de outubro de 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"O Rabino, o Padre e os Ladr\u00f5es O Rabino de uma Comunidade estava preparando sua pr\u00e9dica semanal quando algu\u00e9m tocou a campainha da sua casa. Ao abrir se deparou com o Padre local, que j\u00e1 conhecia. - \u201cRabino, posso ter algumas palavras com voc\u00ea?\u201d - perguntou. -\u00a0\u201cClaro, Padre\u201d - respondeu\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/HojePR-1-scaled.jpg?fit=801%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/HojePR-1-scaled.jpg?fit=801%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/HojePR-1-scaled.jpg?fit=801%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/HojePR-1-scaled.jpg?fit=801%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=156"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22750"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}