{"id":19147,"date":"2021-04-28T12:07:02","date_gmt":"2021-04-28T15:07:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/?p=19147"},"modified":"2021-04-28T12:08:25","modified_gmt":"2021-04-28T15:08:25","slug":"pilulas-de-humor-judaico-19","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pilulas-de-humor-judaico-19\/","title":{"rendered":"P\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (19)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00c9 Bom Estar Prevenido<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Schwartz estava sentado em seu quarto, usando apenas uma cartola, quando Steinberg, seu companheiro de apartamento, entrou:\u00a0<\/span>
\n– “Porque voc\u00ea est\u00e1 a\u00ed sentado, nu?”<\/em>
\n<\/span>– “Qual \u00e9 o problema? Ningu\u00e9m vem nos visitar”<\/em> – respondeu Schwartz.<\/span>
\nE o amigo, sem entender, perguntou:
\n– “E para que essa cartola?”<\/em>
\nE Schwartz esclareceu:
\n– “Para o caso de aparecer <\/em><\/span>algu\u00e9m”.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No Cemit\u00e9rio<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

No enterro do judeu mais rico da aldeia, um homem se aproximou de uma mulher que chorava convulsivamente e perguntou:
\n– “A senhora \u00e9 parente do falecido?”<\/em>
\n– “N\u00e3o”<\/em> – ela respondeu.
\nE ele quis saber:
\n– “E porque a senhora est\u00e1 chorando tanto?”<\/em>
\nEla explicou:
\n– “Exatamente por isso”.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

N\u00e3o Vai Adiantar Nada<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Salom\u00e3o e Samuel sa\u00edram para caminhar quando come\u00e7ou a chover. Salom\u00e3o disse para o amigo:
\n– “R\u00e1pido, abra teu guarda-chuva”.<\/em>
\n– “N\u00e3o vai adiantar nada, est\u00e1 cheio de furos”<\/em> – respondeu Samuel.
\nE Salom\u00e3o quis saber:
\n– “E porque voc\u00ea trouxe?”<\/em>
\n<\/span>Sem jeito, Samuel explicou:
\n– “Eu n\u00e3o achei que ia chover”.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00c9 Bom Estar Prevenido Schwartz estava sentado em seu quarto, usando apenas uma cartola, quando Steinberg, seu companheiro de apartamento, entrou:\u00a0 – “Porque voc\u00ea est\u00e1 a\u00ed sentado, nu?” – “Qual \u00e9 o problema? Ningu\u00e9m vem nos visitar” – respondeu Schwartz. E o amigo, sem entender, perguntou: – “E para que essa cartola?” E Schwartz esclareceu: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":19149,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19147","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sem-categoria"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nP\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (19) | Blog do Guelmann<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pilulas-de-humor-judaico-19\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pt_BR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"P\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (19) | Blog do Guelmann\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00c9 Bom Estar Prevenido Schwartz estava sentado em seu quarto, usando apenas uma cartola, quando Steinberg, seu companheiro de apartamento, entrou:\u00a0 – “Porque voc\u00ea est\u00e1 a\u00ed sentado, nu?” – “Qual \u00e9 o problema? 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Ao seu redor, a enfermeira, a esposa, a filha e os dois filhos. Todos sabiam que o fim estava pr\u00f3ximo. Reunindo suas \u00faltimas for\u00e7as, Morris disse:- Bernie, quero que voc\u00ea fique\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em "Sem categoria"","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/HojePR-13.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/HojePR-13.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/HojePR-13.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1057,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/ligando-para-um-escritorio-de-advocacia-judaico-judeus-entenderao\/","url_meta":{"origin":19147,"position":2},"title":"Ligando Para Um Escrit\u00f3rio de Advocacia Judaico (Judeus Entender\u00e3o)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"9 de dezembro de 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Um homem ligou para um escrit\u00f3rio de advocacia e foi atendido por uma voz masculina: - \"Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz e Schwartz, Advogados Associados.\" - \"Boa tarde, eu me chamo Berkovich, estou com um problema e gostaria que voc\u00eas cuidassem para mim. Posso falar com o Dr.\u00a0Schwartz?\" -\u00a0pediu. - \"O Dr.\u00a0Schwartz\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em "Sem categoria"","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Advocacia.jpg?fit=960%2C719&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Advocacia.jpg?fit=960%2C719&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Advocacia.jpg?fit=960%2C719&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Advocacia.jpg?fit=960%2C719&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":22473,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/fechando-o-domingo-com-o-bom-humor-judaico-1\/","url_meta":{"origin":19147,"position":3},"title":"Fechando o Domingo Com o Bom Humor Judaico (1)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"10 de outubro de 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"O Contencioso no Tribunal Leib e Mendel estavam se engalfinhando na rua e foram conduzidos perante o juiz. - \"Porque este caso n\u00e3o pode ser resolvido fora do tribunal?\" - perguntou o Magistrado. Leib ergueu os olhos para o Juiz e disse: - \"Era isso que est\u00e1vamos tentando fazer, Merit\u00edssimo,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em "Sem categoria"","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/FRUTAS-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/FRUTAS-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/FRUTAS-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/FRUTAS-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/FRUTAS-1.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":26354,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/tres-na-quarta-de-humor-judaico-55\/","url_meta":{"origin":19147,"position":4},"title":"Tr\u00eas na Quarta de Humor Judaico","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"24 de setembro de 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Goldman e a Honestidade na Resposta Um novo recenseamento estava em curso e o entrevistador chegou na casa da fam\u00edlia Goldman. - \u00c9 aqui que vive o Sr. Louis Goldman? - ele perguntou. - N\u00e3o - respondeu ele. - O recenseador olhou a ficha, conferiu o endere\u00e7o e fazendo men\u00e7\u00e3o\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em "Sem categoria"","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/HojePR-14-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/HojePR-14-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/HojePR-14-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/HojePR-14-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/HojePR-14-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13332,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/morris-schwartz-e-o-jejum-de-yom-kippur\/","url_meta":{"origin":19147,"position":5},"title":"Morris Schwartz e o Jejum de Yom Kippur","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"16 de julho de 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Faltavam algumas horas para o t\u00e9rmino do Yom Kippur (\u2217), e num intervalo entre as ora\u00e7\u00f5es, o Rabino Menzies viu que Morris Schwartz, um dos membros da congrega\u00e7\u00e3o, estava se aproximando. 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