{"id":22346,"date":"2021-07-22T21:21:12","date_gmt":"2021-07-23T00:21:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/?p=22346"},"modified":"2021-07-22T21:23:54","modified_gmt":"2021-07-23T00:23:54","slug":"pragas-e-maldicoes-judaicas-modernas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pragas-e-maldicoes-judaicas-modernas\/","title":{"rendered":"Pragas e Maldi\u00e7\u00f5es Judaicas Modernas"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">J\u00e1 existe um repert\u00f3rio de Pragas e Maldi\u00e7\u00f5es Judaicas modernas!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"Y2IQFc\" lang=\"pt\" style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; &#8220;Que tua m\u00e3e instale no teu celular um aplicativo que permita que ela te encontre atrav\u00e9s do GPS e quando ela desconfiar do lugar onde voc\u00ea est\u00e1, uma grava\u00e7\u00e3o com a voz dela diga &#8220;<em>Voc\u00ea est\u00e1 partindo meu cora\u00e7\u00e3o!<\/em>&#8220;<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"tw-target-text\" class=\"tw-data-text tw-text-large XcVN5d tw-ta\" dir=\"ltr\" data-placeholder=\"Tradu\u00e7\u00e3o\"><span class=\"Y2IQFc\" lang=\"pt\" style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; &#8220;Que os homens da tua fam\u00edlia sejam aben\u00e7oados com cabelos lindos que permanecem grossos e cacheados at\u00e9 os 80 anos, e que voc\u00ea seja o \u00fanico a herdar o gene recessivo do bisav\u00f4 Yossel, que conduziu \u00e0 uma calv\u00edcie masculina que come\u00e7ou no dia seguinte ao teu Bar Mitzvah.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p id=\"tw-target-text\" class=\"tw-data-text tw-text-large XcVN5d tw-ta\" dir=\"ltr\" data-placeholder=\"Tradu\u00e7\u00e3o\"><span class=\"Y2IQFc\" lang=\"pt\" style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; &#8220;Que voc\u00ea se aposente, venda tudo o que tem e mude para a Fl\u00f3rida, e que ao chegar l\u00e1 descubra que o aquecimento global a tornou inabit\u00e1vel.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211;\u00a0<span class=\"Y2IQFc\" lang=\"pt\">\u201c<\/span><span class=\"Y2IQFc\" lang=\"pt\">Que voc\u00ea seja como um oleoduto do Alasca &#8211; frio e enterrado&#8221;.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"Y2IQFc\" lang=\"pt\" style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; &#8220;Que esteja se aproximando o teu 16\u00ba anivers\u00e1rio, que tenha sido prometido a voc\u00ea teu pr\u00f3prio carro, que voc\u00ea tenha certeza de que ganhar\u00e1 um Cross 0km e teus pais orgulhosamente te entreguem as chaves de um Marea Autom\u00e1tico 2001.&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"22347\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pragas-e-maldicoes-judaicas-modernas\/marea\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/MAREA.png?fit=914%2C499&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"914,499\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"MAREA\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/MAREA.png?fit=300%2C164&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/MAREA.png?fit=640%2C349&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-22347\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/MAREA.png?resize=300%2C164&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"164\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/MAREA.png?resize=300%2C164&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/MAREA.png?resize=768%2C419&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/MAREA.png?w=914&amp;ssl=1 914w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>J\u00e1 existe um repert\u00f3rio de Pragas e Maldi\u00e7\u00f5es Judaicas modernas! &#8211; &#8220;Que tua m\u00e3e instale no teu celular um aplicativo que permita que ela te encontre atrav\u00e9s do GPS e quando ela desconfiar do lugar onde voc\u00ea est\u00e1, uma grava\u00e7\u00e3o com a voz dela diga &#8220;Voc\u00ea est\u00e1 partindo meu cora\u00e7\u00e3o!&#8220; &#8211; &#8220;Que os homens da [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":22347,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22346","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sem-categoria"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - 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Lembro que cada publica\u00e7\u00e3o t\u00eam 5 delas, ou seja, j\u00e1 traduzi e adaptei 85. Assim, come\u00e7o hoje a publicar uma nova s\u00e9rie, todas\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/PORK.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/PORK.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/PORK.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/PORK.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/PORK.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3147,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pragas-e-maldicoes-judaicas-6\/","url_meta":{"origin":22346,"position":1},"title":"Pragas e Maldi\u00e7\u00f5es Judaicas (6)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"28 de janeiro de 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"- \"Que os problemas do meu cora\u00e7\u00e3o passem todos para tua cabe\u00e7a.\" - \"Ela devia ter dado \u00e0 luz pedras e n\u00e3o crian\u00e7as.\" - \"Que voc\u00ea d\u00ea tudo o que tem aos m\u00e9dicos.\" - \"Que uma doen\u00e7a ven\u00e9rea consuma teu corpo.\" - \"Que voc\u00ea acabe como um louco correndo pelas\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Louco.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Louco.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Louco.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Louco.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Louco.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":19407,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pragas-e-maldicoes-judaicas-15\/","url_meta":{"origin":22346,"position":2},"title":"Pragas e Maldi\u00e7\u00f5es Judaicas (15)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"1 de abril de 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"- \"Que teus inimigos tor\u00e7am os tornozelos dan\u00e7ando no teu t\u00famulo\". - \u201cQue os vermes realizem um casamento no teu est\u00f4mago e convidem os parentes deles de todos os lugares\u201d. - \"Que voc\u00ea tenha uma doen\u00e7a rara e precise de uma opera\u00e7\u00e3o que apenas um cirurgi\u00e3o no mundo, o vencedor\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/acrobat-1938713_1920.jpg?fit=824%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/acrobat-1938713_1920.jpg?fit=824%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/acrobat-1938713_1920.jpg?fit=824%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/acrobat-1938713_1920.jpg?fit=824%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":19789,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pragas-e-maldicoes-judaicas-20\/","url_meta":{"origin":22346,"position":3},"title":"Pragas e Maldi\u00e7\u00f5es Judaicas (20)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"6 de maio de 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"- \"Que o teu f\u00edgado saia em peda\u00e7os pelo teu nariz\". - \"Que os pelos do teu nariz cres\u00e7am tanto que encostem na tua sopa\". - \"Que voc\u00ea seja ro\u00eddo pela s\u00edfilis e que teu nariz caia\". - \"Que o teu caso seja t\u00e3o s\u00e9rio que o m\u00e9dico precise de\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/Rastelo.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/Rastelo.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/Rastelo.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/Rastelo.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7347,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pragas-e-maldicoes-judaicas-8\/","url_meta":{"origin":22346,"position":4},"title":"Pragas e Maldi\u00e7\u00f5es Judaicas (8)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"11 de fevereiro de 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"- \"Que voc\u00ea tenha as alegrias de J\u00f3 e os sucessos do Fara\u00f3\". - \"Que um terra\u00e7o desabe na tua cabe\u00e7a\". - \"Que uma calamidade te atinja\". - \"Que eu te veja com uma s\u00f3 perna e voc\u00ea me enxergue com teu \u00fanico olho\". - \"Que voc\u00ea tenha sal nos\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/lachlan-6W4QQNQnhk4-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C846&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/lachlan-6W4QQNQnhk4-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C846&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/lachlan-6W4QQNQnhk4-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C846&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/lachlan-6W4QQNQnhk4-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C846&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/lachlan-6W4QQNQnhk4-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C846&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":180,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pragas-maldicoes-judaicas-1\/","url_meta":{"origin":22346,"position":5},"title":"Pragas &#038; Maldi\u00e7\u00f5es Judaicas (1)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"24 de dezembro de 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"- \u201cQue os teus ossos sejam quebrados tantas vezes quanto os Dez Mandamentos.\u201d - \u201cQue o mesmo D-us que partiu o mar Vermelho parta a tua cabe\u00e7a.\u201d - \u201cQue as pulgas do teu pijama cruzem com os percevejos do teu colch\u00e3o e que os filhotes deles infestem tua roupa \u00edntima.\u201d\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Cebola-1.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Cebola-1.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Cebola-1.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Cebola-1.jpg?fit=960%2C640&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22346","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22346"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22346\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22347"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22346"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22346"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22346"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}