    {"id":22371,"date":"2021-08-04T21:50:33","date_gmt":"2021-08-05T00:50:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/?p=22371"},"modified":"2021-08-04T21:52:50","modified_gmt":"2021-08-05T00:52:50","slug":"pilulas-de-humor-judaico-28","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pilulas-de-humor-judaico-28\/","title":{"rendered":"P\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (28)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em><strong><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Samuel no Bar<\/span><\/strong><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Samuel entrou no bar onde ia todas as noites, e pela primeira vez acompanhado de uma linda mulher. O dono do bar perguntou:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; &#8220;Francamente, onde voc\u00ea arranjou isso a\u00ed?&#8221;<\/span><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Enfurecido com a forma como o homem falou, Samuel reclamou:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; &#8220;Veja como fala! Ela est\u00e1 comigo&#8221;.<\/span><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">E o dono do bar respondeu:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; &#8220;Fique quieto, eu estou falando com ela&#8221;.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">A Soneca na Sinagoga<\/span><\/strong><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">O marido e a esposa estavam na Sinagoga. No meio da pr\u00e9dica o Rabino percebeu que o homem havia ca\u00eddo no sono e disse para a senhora, em tom irritado:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; \u201cPor favor, acorde-o!&#8221;<\/span><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">E ela respondeu:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; Eu n\u00e3o&#8230; O senhor que fez ele dormir, o senhor mesmo que o acorde&#8221;.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Golda Meir e a Troca de Generais<\/span><\/strong><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Nos idos de 1970 Golda Meir visitou o Presidente Richard Nixon na White House. Nixon, afundado nas cr\u00edticas em raz\u00e3o da Guerra do Vietnam, disse para Golda:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; \u201cVoc\u00ea tem os maiores estrategistas militares da hist\u00f3ria. Se eu tivesse s\u00f3 2 dos teus Generais, meus problemas estariam resolvidos&#8221;.<\/span><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Golda, surpresa, falou:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; &#8220;Olha, \u00e9 engra\u00e7ado ouvir isso de voc\u00ea. Se eu tamb\u00e9m tivesse 2 dos teus Generais, todos os meus problemas estariam igualmente resolvidos. Porque n\u00e3o fazemos uma troca?&#8221;<\/span><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Nixon topou:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; \u201cOk. Eu quero o General Dayan e o General Rabin.\u201d<\/span><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">E Golda respondeu:\u00a0<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; \u201cE eu escolho General Motors e General Electric.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"22372\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pilulas-de-humor-judaico-28\/gm-10\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/GM-scaled.jpg?fit=2052%2C2560&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"2052,2560\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;(c) Cjhcommons | Dreamstime.com&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"GM\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/GM-scaled.jpg?fit=240%2C300&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/GM-scaled.jpg?fit=640%2C798&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-22372\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/GM.jpg?resize=240%2C300&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/GM-scaled.jpg?resize=240%2C300&amp;ssl=1 240w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/GM-scaled.jpg?resize=821%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 821w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/GM-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C958&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/GM-scaled.jpg?resize=1231%2C1536&amp;ssl=1 1231w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/GM-scaled.jpg?resize=1641%2C2048&amp;ssl=1 1641w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/GM-scaled.jpg?w=1920&amp;ssl=1 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 240px) 100vw, 240px\" \/><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/www.ajhs.org\/\"><span style=\"color: #333333; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 8pt;\"><em><strong>Golda Meir em um jantar em New York em 17\/3\/1959. Foto de Emerich C. Gross, do acervo da American Jewish Historical Society<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Samuel no Bar Samuel entrou no bar onde ia todas as noites, e pela primeira vez acompanhado de uma linda mulher. O dono do bar perguntou: &#8211; &#8220;Francamente, onde voc\u00ea arranjou isso a\u00ed?&#8221; Enfurecido com a forma como o homem falou, Samuel reclamou: &#8211; &#8220;Veja como fala! Ela est\u00e1 comigo&#8221;. E o dono do bar [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":22372,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22371","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sem-categoria"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>P\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (28) | Blog do Guelmann<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pilulas-de-humor-judaico-28\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pt_BR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"P\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (28) | Blog do Guelmann\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Samuel no Bar Samuel entrou no bar onde ia todas as noites, e pela primeira vez acompanhado de uma linda mulher. 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Trabalhando h\u00e1 muito tempo no balc\u00e3o do\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/wp-image-560936058.jpg?fit=1200%2C799&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/wp-image-560936058.jpg?fit=1200%2C799&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/wp-image-560936058.jpg?fit=1200%2C799&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/wp-image-560936058.jpg?fit=1200%2C799&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/wp-image-560936058.jpg?fit=1200%2C799&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13793,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/aonde-vai-a-cachorra-americana-que-pega-o-onibus-sozinha\/","url_meta":{"origin":22371,"position":1},"title":"Aonde Vai a Cachorra Americana Que Pega o \u00d4nibus Sozinha?","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"8 de junho de 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Esta hist\u00f3ria \u00e9 para \"cachorreiros\". Quem mandou foi minha filha mais velha, e apareceu no KomoNews, um site de not\u00edcias de Seattle, onde ela mora. A mat\u00e9ria \u00e9 sobre uma cachorra chamada Eclipse, que \u00e0 \u00e9poca da publica\u00e7\u00e3o, em novembro de 2015, tinha 2 anos. 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Motorista cuidadoso, ele subia a montanha em baixa velocidade, e em uma curva um carro que vinha em sentido contr\u00e1rio deslizou e colidiu com o dele.\u00a0 O carro de Samuel saiu da rodovia e bateu em um pinheiro.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/NEVE-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/NEVE-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/NEVE-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/NEVE-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/NEVE-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22371","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22371"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22371\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22372"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22371"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22371"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22371"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}