{"id":22412,"date":"2021-08-22T13:41:29","date_gmt":"2021-08-22T16:41:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/?p=22412"},"modified":"2021-08-22T13:43:22","modified_gmt":"2021-08-22T16:43:22","slug":"aviso-funebre-no-jornal-judaico","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/aviso-funebre-no-jornal-judaico\/","title":{"rendered":"Aviso F\u00fanebre no Jornal Judaico"},"content":{"rendered":"

Quando o marido de Leah faleceu, ela colocou o aviso de falecimento no jornal judaico, mas acrescentou que ele morreu de gonorreia. <\/span><\/p>\n

T\u00e3o logo os jornais foram entregues nas casas dos patr\u00edcios, um amigo muito chegado da fam\u00edlia telefonou e reclamou amargamente:
\n– “Leah, voc\u00ea sabe muito bem que ele morreu de diarreia, n\u00e3o de gonorreia. N\u00e3o devia ter escrito isso”.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

E a vi\u00fava respondeu:
\n– “Eu cuidei dele dia e noite, ent\u00e3o \u00e9 claro que sei que ele morreu de diarreia, mas pensei que seria melhor para a posteridade que ele fosse lembrado como um grande amante, ao inv\u00e9s do grande merda que sempre foi”.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"
\nFoto: Cottonbro – Pexels<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Quando o marido de Leah faleceu, ela colocou o aviso de falecimento no jornal judaico, mas acrescentou que ele morreu de gonorreia. T\u00e3o logo os jornais foram entregues nas casas dos patr\u00edcios, um amigo muito chegado da fam\u00edlia telefonou e reclamou amargamente: – “Leah, voc\u00ea sabe muito bem que ele morreu de diarreia, n\u00e3o de […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":22413,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22412","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sem-categoria"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAviso F\u00fanebre no Jornal Judaico | Blog do Guelmann<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/aviso-funebre-no-jornal-judaico\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pt_BR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Aviso F\u00fanebre no Jornal Judaico | Blog do Guelmann\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Quando o marido de Leah faleceu, ela colocou o aviso de falecimento no jornal judaico, mas acrescentou que ele morreu de gonorreia. T\u00e3o logo os jornais foram entregues nas casas dos patr\u00edcios, um amigo muito chegado da fam\u00edlia telefonou e reclamou amargamente: – “Leah, voc\u00ea sabe muito bem que ele morreu de diarreia, n\u00e3o de […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/aviso-funebre-no-jornal-judaico\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Blog do Guelmann\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-08-22T16:41:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-08-22T16:43:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/JORNAL-1-scaled.jpg?fit=2560%2C1706&ssl=1\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1706\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Gerson Guelmann\" \/>\n<meta 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Como ele era conhecido pelo apelido, a mulher disse que o an\u00fancio poderia ser bem simples: - \"Lamento Informar Que O Leon Morreu\". Ouvindo aquilo, o funcion\u00e1rio disse:\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em "Sem categoria"","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/marco-chilese-xANqJyVuB0c-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/marco-chilese-xANqJyVuB0c-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/marco-chilese-xANqJyVuB0c-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/marco-chilese-xANqJyVuB0c-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/marco-chilese-xANqJyVuB0c-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C798&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":26404,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/tres-na-quarta-de-humor-judaico-59\/","url_meta":{"origin":22412,"position":1},"title":"Tr\u00eas na Quarta de Humor Judaico","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"22 de outubro de 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Um Milagre, Uma Cobran\u00e7a A av\u00f3 judia estava na praia com o neto. O menino brincava na parte mais rasa, enquanto ela o observava de longe, sem querer molhar os p\u00e9s na \u00e1gua fria. Subitamente, do nada, surgiu a maior onda que ela j\u00e1 havia visto \u2014 e arrebentou exatamente\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em "Sem categoria"","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/HojePR-12.jpg?fit=600%2C450&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/HojePR-12.jpg?fit=600%2C450&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/HojePR-12.jpg?fit=600%2C450&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":23008,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/mais-3-pilulas-de-humor-judaico\/","url_meta":{"origin":22412,"position":2},"title":"Mais 3 P\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"13 de janeiro de 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Classificado Amoroso no Jornal da Comunidade Quando os jornais impressos eram comuns, um seman\u00e1rio judaico de Nova York mantinha uma se\u00e7\u00e3o de classificados amorosos de muito sucesso. As pessoas que demonstravam interesse por um an\u00fancio mandavam suas respostas para o pr\u00f3prio jornal e a partir da\u00ed os encontros eram marcados,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em "Sem categoria"","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/GOLF.png?fit=960%2C679&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/GOLF.png?fit=960%2C679&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/GOLF.png?fit=960%2C679&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/GOLF.png?fit=960%2C679&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":26178,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/tres-na-quarta-de-humor-judaico-47\/","url_meta":{"origin":22412,"position":3},"title":"Tr\u00eas na Quarta de Humor Judaico","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"30 de julho de 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Revela\u00e7\u00f5es Na Lua de Mel Ezra e Leah se casaram e, na primeira noite na cama, ele a abra\u00e7ou com carinho e sussurrou docemente: \u2014 Leah, querida, por favor, levante sua camisola. Muito docemente, ela respondeu: \u2014 N\u00e3\u00e3\u00e3o... Ezra insistiu, agora um pouco mais firme: \u2014 Leah, levante a camisola.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em "Sem categoria"","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/HojePR-21.jpg?fit=480%2C400&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":22380,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/fechando-o-shabat-com-humor-judaico\/","url_meta":{"origin":22412,"position":4},"title":"Fechando o Shabat Com Humor Judaico","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"7 de agosto de 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"No Celular, a Mensagem da M\u00e3e Judia - \"Desculpe n\u00e3o poder atender tua liga\u00e7\u00e3o, filho. Depois do sinal pode contar as m\u00e1s not\u00edcias\". Avi\u00e3o Aterrissando em Israel O avi\u00e3o da El Al, a companhia a\u00e9rea israelense, acaba de aterrissar em Tel Aviv, no aeroporto Ben Gurion, e uma voz \u00e9\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em "Sem categoria"","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/AB.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/AB.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/AB.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/AB.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/AB.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":19197,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pilulas-de-humor-judaico-20\/","url_meta":{"origin":22412,"position":5},"title":"P\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (20)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"5 de maio de 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Os Goldmans e o Recenseamento A popula\u00e7\u00e3o estava sendo contada e o Recenseador bateu na casa da fam\u00edlia Goldman. Jacob Goldman foi atender a porta: - \"O senhor Jacob Goldman vive aqui?\" - perguntou o funcion\u00e1rio. Sem saber quem estava perguntando, ele preferiu responder: - \"N\u00e3o\". L\u00e1 de dentro ouviu-se\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em "Sem categoria"","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Banheiro.png?fit=960%2C451&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Banheiro.png?fit=960%2C451&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Banheiro.png?fit=960%2C451&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Banheiro.png?fit=960%2C451&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22412","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22412"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22412\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22413"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22412"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22412"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22412"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}