{"id":22762,"date":"2022-03-24T18:48:52","date_gmt":"2022-03-24T21:48:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/?p=22762"},"modified":"2022-03-24T18:51:07","modified_gmt":"2022-03-24T21:51:07","slug":"pilulas-de-humor-judaico-51","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pilulas-de-humor-judaico-51\/","title":{"rendered":"P\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (51)"},"content":{"rendered":"

David Aizenberg no Cardiologista
\n<\/span><\/em><\/strong>David Aizenberg, j\u00e1 passado dos 80 anos, estava em uma consulta m\u00e9dica.<\/span><\/span>
\nEnquanto ouvia seu cora\u00e7\u00e3o com o estetosc\u00f3pio, o cardiologista come\u00e7ou a murmurar, em tom de preocupa\u00e7\u00e3o. <\/span>O idoso perguntou ao m\u00e9dico qual era o problema.<\/span>
\n\u2013\u00a0\u201cOlhe, teu cora\u00e7\u00e3o piorou muito e voc\u00ea est\u00e1 com problema s\u00e9rio. Por acaso voc\u00ea voltou a fumar?\u201d<\/em><\/span>
\n\u2013 \u201cN\u00e3o\u201d<\/em>, respondeu o homem.<\/span>
\n\u2013 \u201cEsta bebendo em excesso?\u201d<\/em><\/span>
\n\u2013 \u201cN\u00e3o\u201d,\u00a0<\/em>disse novamente o paciente.<\/span>
\nO m\u00e9dico fez outra pergunta:<\/span>
\n\u2013 \u201cVoc\u00ea est\u00e1 mantendo uma vida sexual ativa?\u201d<\/em><\/span>
\n\u2013 \u201cSim, estou\u201d<\/em>\u00a0\u2013 respondeu David.<\/span>
\n\u2013 \u201cBem\u201d\u00a0<\/em>\u2013 disse o doutor,\u00a0\u201clamento dizer, mas acho que diante dessa descoberta voc\u00ea ter\u00e1 que cortar pela metade tua atividade sexual\u201d.
\n<\/em>Parecendo perplexo, o idoso perguntou:<\/span>
\n\u2013 \u201cQual metade, a de tentar ou a de lembrar como era?\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Entendendo as Correntes do Juda\u00edsmo
\n<\/strong><\/span><\/em>Defini\u00e7\u00e3o bem humorada, das muitas que existem:<\/span>
\n* Quando um judeu Ortodoxo fala com D-us ele diz\u00a0\u00a0\u201cMestre do Universo\u201d<\/em>;<\/span>
\n* Quando um judeu Conservador quer contatar D-us ele diz\u00a0\u201cNosso Pai, nosso Rei\u201d<\/em>;<\/span>
\n* Quando um judeu Reformista se dirige a D-us ele diz\u00a0\u201cSenhor, voc\u00ea \u00e9 \u00danico\u201d<\/em>;<\/span>
\n* J\u00e1 o Reconstrucionista diz\u00a0\u201c\u00c0 quem interessar possa\u201d<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Gosta do Humor Judaico? <\/strong><\/em><\/span>
\nSe voc\u00ea gostou da publica\u00e7\u00e3o, compartilhe o link clicando nos \u00edcones abaixo. N\u00c3O COPIE E COLE. Com isso voc\u00ea respeitar\u00e1 e valorizar\u00e1 meu trabalho de pesquisa, tradu\u00e7\u00e3o e adapta\u00e7\u00e3o do melhor do Humor Judaico.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"
\nFoto: Craiova – FreeImages<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

David Aizenberg no Cardiologista David Aizenberg, j\u00e1 passado dos 80 anos, estava em uma consulta m\u00e9dica. Enquanto ouvia seu cora\u00e7\u00e3o com o estetosc\u00f3pio, o cardiologista come\u00e7ou a murmurar, em tom de preocupa\u00e7\u00e3o. O idoso perguntou ao m\u00e9dico qual era o problema. \u2013\u00a0\u201cOlhe, teu cora\u00e7\u00e3o piorou muito e voc\u00ea est\u00e1 com problema s\u00e9rio. Por acaso voc\u00ea […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":22763,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22762","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sem-categoria"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nP\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (51) | Blog do Guelmann<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pilulas-de-humor-judaico-51\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pt_BR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"P\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (51) | Blog do Guelmann\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"David Aizenberg no Cardiologista David Aizenberg, j\u00e1 passado dos 80 anos, estava em uma consulta m\u00e9dica. Enquanto ouvia seu cora\u00e7\u00e3o com o estetosc\u00f3pio, o cardiologista come\u00e7ou a murmurar, em tom de preocupa\u00e7\u00e3o. O idoso perguntou ao m\u00e9dico qual era o problema. \u2013\u00a0\u201cOlhe, teu cora\u00e7\u00e3o piorou muito e voc\u00ea est\u00e1 com problema s\u00e9rio. 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