    {"id":22940,"date":"2022-07-07T18:55:29","date_gmt":"2022-07-07T21:55:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/?p=22940"},"modified":"2022-07-07T18:56:34","modified_gmt":"2022-07-07T21:56:34","slug":"pilulas-de-humor-judaico-57","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pilulas-de-humor-judaico-57\/","title":{"rendered":"P\u00edlulas de Humor Judaico (57)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p id=\"tw-target-text\" dir=\"ltr\" data-placeholder=\"Tradu\u00e7\u00e3o\"><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\"><span lang=\"pt\"><em><strong>Na Escola, o Ensaio sobre os Elefantes<\/strong><\/em><br \/>\n<\/span><span lang=\"pt\">Em uma escola os alunos foram convidados a escrever um ensaio sobre elefantes:<br \/>\n&#8211; Jack escreveu sobre <em>&#8220;Os Horrores do Com\u00e9rcio de Marfim&#8221;<\/em>;<br \/>\n&#8211; Homer escreveu sobre <em>&#8220;O Ritual de Acasalamento do Elefante&#8221;<\/em>;<br \/>\n&#8211; Jodie escreveu sobre <em>&#8220;A Redu\u00e7\u00e3o do N\u00famero de Elefantes na \u00cdndia&#8221;<\/em>;<br \/>\n&#8211; William escreveu sobre <em>&#8220;Verdades e Lendas Sobre os Cemit\u00e9rios de Elefantes&#8221;<\/em>;<br \/>\n&#8211; Hans escreveu sobre <em>&#8220;Como Criar Maiores e Melhores Elefantes&#8221;<\/em>; e<br \/>\n&#8211; Moiche escreveu sobre <em>&#8220;O Elefante e o Problema Judaico&#8221;<\/em>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><em><strong><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">O Velho Judeu na Pescaria<\/span><\/strong><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Um judeu j\u00e1 idoso mantinha o antigo h\u00e1bito de pescar quase diariamente.<br \/>\nUm dia um sapo pulou para dentro do barco e disse:<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; <em>&#8220;Eu n\u00e3o sou um sapo comum! Se voc\u00ea me beijar na boca eu vou me transformar na mulher mais espetacular que voc\u00ea j\u00e1 viu e vou satisfazer todos os teus desejos&#8221;.<\/em><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">O velho n\u00e3o respondeu e o sapo voltou a falar: <\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; &#8220;Me beije na boca e imediatamente voc\u00ea ter\u00e1 uma mulher maravilhosa, pronta para te dar os maiores prazeres!&#8221;<\/span><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Nesse momento o idoso se abaixou, pegou o sapo e o colocou no bolso.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Foi o suficiente para o sapo gritar:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; &#8220;Voc\u00ea n\u00e3o me ouviu? Com um beijo pode me transformar numa mulher fant\u00e1stica!&#8221;<\/span><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">E a\u00ed finalmente o velho falou:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; &#8220;Claro que ouvi. Eu sou velho mas n\u00e3o sou surdo. \u00c9 que na minha idade \u00e9 melhor ter um sapo que fala&#8221;.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Caprichando no Presente para a Patroa<\/span><\/strong><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Benjamin Aarons comprou para a esposa um enorme anel de diamante.<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">Quando soube do presente extravagante, um amigo perguntou:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; &#8220;Mas ela n\u00e3o queria um daqueles utilit\u00e1rios super-chiques com tra\u00e7\u00e3o nas quatro rodas?&#8221;<\/span><\/em><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">E Benjamin respondeu:<\/span><br \/>\n<em><span style=\"color: #000000; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt;\">&#8211; &#8220;Sim, era o que ela queria, mas onde eu ia encontrar um Jeep falso?&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #808080; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\"><em><strong>Gosta da Cultura e do Humor Judaico?<\/strong><\/em><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #808080; font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\"><em><strong>Se voc\u00ea gostou da publica\u00e7\u00e3o, compartilhe o link clicando nos \u00edcones abaixo. N\u00c3O COPIE E COLE. Com isso voc\u00ea respeitar\u00e1 e valorizar\u00e1 meu trabalho de pesquisa, tradu\u00e7\u00e3o e adapta\u00e7\u00e3o desse material.<\/strong> <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"22942\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/pilulas-de-humor-judaico-57\/jeep-3\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/JEEP-1-scaled.jpg?fit=1829%2C2560&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1829,2560\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"JEEP\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/JEEP-1-scaled.jpg?fit=214%2C300&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/JEEP-1-scaled.jpg?fit=640%2C897&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-22942\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/JEEP-1.jpg?resize=214%2C300&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"214\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/JEEP-1-scaled.jpg?resize=214%2C300&amp;ssl=1 214w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/JEEP-1-scaled.jpg?resize=731%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 731w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/JEEP-1-scaled.jpg?resize=768%2C1075&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/JEEP-1-scaled.jpg?resize=1097%2C1536&amp;ssl=1 1097w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/JEEP-1-scaled.jpg?resize=1463%2C2048&amp;ssl=1 1463w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/JEEP-1-scaled.jpg?w=1829&amp;ssl=1 1829w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/JEEP-1-scaled.jpg?w=1280&amp;ssl=1 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 214px) 100vw, 214px\" \/><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/photos\/oJp5g3wAaN0\"><span style=\"color: #0000ff; font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 8pt;\"><em><strong>Foto: Fausto Marqu\u00e9s &#8211; Unsplash\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Na Escola, o Ensaio sobre os Elefantes Em uma escola os alunos foram convidados a escrever um ensaio sobre elefantes: &#8211; Jack escreveu sobre &#8220;Os Horrores do Com\u00e9rcio de Marfim&#8221;; &#8211; Homer escreveu sobre &#8220;O Ritual de Acasalamento do Elefante&#8221;; &#8211; Jodie escreveu sobre &#8220;A Redu\u00e7\u00e3o do N\u00famero de Elefantes na \u00cdndia&#8221;; &#8211; William escreveu [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":22942,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22940","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sem-categoria"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - 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