{"id":2315,"date":"2017-10-02T19:30:23","date_gmt":"2017-10-02T22:30:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/?p=2315"},"modified":"2017-10-02T17:07:47","modified_gmt":"2017-10-02T20:07:47","slug":"moises-e-jesus-jogando-golfe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/moises-e-jesus-jogando-golfe\/","title":{"rendered":"Mois\u00e9s e Jesus Jogando Golfe"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; color: #000000;\">Mois\u00e9s, Jesus e um velhinho de barba est\u00e3o jogando golfe.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; color: #000000;\">Mois\u00e9s, o primeiro a jogar, pega o taco e bate na bola, que sobe alto e cai diretamente dentro do lago. Ele n\u00e3o se apavora: levanta calmamente o taco e as \u00e1guas se abrem, abrindo passagem para que d\u00ea uma nova tacada.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; color: #000000;\">Em seguida \u00e9 a vez de Jesus. Ele d\u00e1 sua tacada e a bola, tra\u00e7ando uma par\u00e1bola perfeita &#8211; n\u00e3o nos esque\u00e7amos que par\u00e1bola \u00e9 sua especialidade &#8211; tamb\u00e9m vai cair no lago, dessa vez em cima de uma vit\u00f3ria-r\u00e9gia. Sem se abalar, Jesus caminha sobre a \u00e1gua at\u00e9 onde est\u00e1 a bola, e d\u00e1 a tacada seguinte.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; color: #000000;\">Chega a vez do velhinho, que pega o taco de forma desajeitada, mostrando n\u00e3o estar habituado ao esporte. Ele tenta bater na bola\u00a0duas vezes e s\u00f3 na terceira acerta a tacada. A bola voa por cima do muro do campo, quica sobre um caminh\u00e3o que passava na rua e bate no troco de uma \u00e1rvore. De l\u00e1 cai no telhado de uma casa, rola pela calha, segue pelo ralo e vai at\u00e9 a boca-de-lobo da rua, de onde \u00e9 lan\u00e7ada num cano que termina no lago do campo. No final da tubula\u00e7\u00e3o a bola \u00e9 desviada por uma pedra a desvia para a margem, onde para. Um grande sapo que est\u00e1 ao lado engole a bola, mas l\u00e1 do c\u00e9u baixa um gavi\u00e3o, que pega o sapo e sai voando por cima do campo de golfe. Nesse momento o sapo vomita a bola, que cai exatamente dentro do buraco.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; color: #000000;\">A\u00ed Mois\u00e9s se vira para Jesus e diz: <\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: tahoma, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; color: #000000;\">\u2013 <em>\u201cP\u00f4, cara, eu odeio jogar com teu pai\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"2316\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/moises-e-jesus-jogando-golfe\/golf-2\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Golf-1.jpg?fit=960%2C638&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"960,638\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;7.1&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;NIKON D70&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;86&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.00125&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Golf\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Golf-1.jpg?fit=300%2C199&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Golf-1.jpg?fit=640%2C425&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-2316\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Golf-1.jpg?resize=300%2C199&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"199\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Golf-1.jpg?resize=300%2C199&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Golf-1.jpg?resize=768%2C510&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Golf-1.jpg?resize=750%2C500&amp;ssl=1 750w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Golf-1.jpg?w=960&amp;ssl=1 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mois\u00e9s, Jesus e um velhinho de barba est\u00e3o jogando golfe. Mois\u00e9s, o primeiro a jogar, pega o taco e bate na bola, que sobe alto e cai diretamente dentro do lago. Ele n\u00e3o se apavora: levanta calmamente o taco e as \u00e1guas se abrem, abrindo passagem para que d\u00ea uma nova tacada. Em seguida \u00e9 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":2316,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2315","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sem-categoria"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Mois\u00e9s e Jesus Jogando Golfe | Blog do Guelmann<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/moises-e-jesus-jogando-golfe\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pt_BR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mois\u00e9s e Jesus Jogando Golfe | Blog do Guelmann\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Mois\u00e9s, Jesus e um velhinho de barba est\u00e3o jogando golfe. 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Era t\u00e3o compulsivo que quando passava mais de dois dias sem jogar, tinha crise de abstin\u00eancia. Em um Yom Kippur, ele pensou consigo mesmo: - \"O que vai doer se eu sair durante o intervalo e jogar um pouco? 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Estava no segundo buraco quando percebeu um sapo sentado bem ao lado. Ele n\u00e3o se incomodou com isso e estava pronto para dar a tacada quando ouviu um som: - \"Coax,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/pexels-pixabay-70083.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/pexels-pixabay-70083.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/pexels-pixabay-70083.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/pexels-pixabay-70083.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/pexels-pixabay-70083.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":23728,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/tres-na-quarta-de-humor-judaico-13\/","url_meta":{"origin":2315,"position":3},"title":"Tr\u00eas na Quarta de Humor Judaico","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"27 de novembro de 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Parceiros de Poquer Percy Coleman foi jogar poquer com os amigos no clube judaico, mas chegou atrasado e a mesa onde costumava sentar j\u00e1 estava cheia. Incr\u00e9dulo, percebeu que seu amigo Allan Baskin havia colocado um cachorro para jogar, e exclamou: - \"Esse cachorro \u00e9 muito inteligente!\" - \"Nem tanto\"\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/HojePR-29-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":135,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/salomao-e-os-amigos-golfistas\/","url_meta":{"origin":2315,"position":4},"title":"Salom\u00e3o e os Amigos Golfistas","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"27 de mar\u00e7o de 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Salom\u00e3o e mais tr\u00eas amigos fan\u00e1ticos por golfe programaram uma viagem para conhecer um novo campo em outra cidade. Como precisariam ficar fora todo o final de semana, tiveram que convencer as esposas, mas finalmente o programa foi marcado. Quando chegaram no campo e se preparavam para jogar, come\u00e7aram a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/GOLF-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C838&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/GOLF-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C838&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/GOLF-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C838&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/GOLF-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C838&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/GOLF-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C838&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":23883,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/tres-na-quarta-de-humor-judaico-19\/","url_meta":{"origin":2315,"position":5},"title":"Tr\u00eas na Quarta de Humor Judaico","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"8 de janeiro de 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"O Respeito ao Funeral Sim\u00e3o e Ruben estavam jogando golfe no campo ao lado do cemit\u00e9rio quando viram um cortejo f\u00fanebre se aproximando. Sim\u00e3o, que estava prestes a dar uma tacada, interrompeu o movimento, fechou os olhos e inclinou a cabe\u00e7a em ora\u00e7\u00e3o. Emocionado, Ruben comentou: - \"Cara... Isso \u00e9\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/HojePR-5.jpg?fit=1200%2C797&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/HojePR-5.jpg?fit=1200%2C797&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/HojePR-5.jpg?fit=1200%2C797&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/HojePR-5.jpg?fit=1200%2C797&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/HojePR-5.jpg?fit=1200%2C797&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2315","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2315"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2315\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2316"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2315"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2315"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2315"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}