{"id":690,"date":"2021-02-01T13:07:52","date_gmt":"2021-02-01T16:07:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/?p=690"},"modified":"2021-02-01T13:07:02","modified_gmt":"2021-02-01T16:07:02","slug":"frases-dos-melhores-humoristas-judeus-9","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/frases-dos-melhores-humoristas-judeus-9\/","title":{"rendered":"Frases dos Melhores Humoristas Judeus (9)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"pt-BR\">* <strong>Jack Benny<\/strong> (<em>Benjamin Kubelsky \u2013 Chicago, 14\/2\/1894 \u2013 Beverly Hills, 26\/12\/1974<\/em>)<br \/>\n<\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\">&#8211; \u201cEu fui no Congresso de Ejaculadores Precoces. Sai antes de terminar.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"pt-BR\">* <strong>Woody Allen<\/strong> (<em>Allan Stewart K\u00f6nigsberg \u2013 Nova York, 1\/12\/1935<\/em>)<br \/>\n<\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\">&#8211; \u201cA pena de morte seria uma medida mais efetiva se fosse aplicada antes que o crime fosse cometid<\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\">o<\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\">.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"pt-BR\">* <strong>Fran Lebowitz<\/strong> (<em>Frances Ann Lebowitz \u2013 Nova Jersey, 27\/10\/1950<\/em>)<br \/>\n<\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\">&#8211; \u201cSe voc\u00ea for um c\u00e3o e teu dono quiser te colocar um agasalho, diga para ele usar um rabo.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"pt-BR\">* <strong>Jon Stewart <\/strong><\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\">(<\/span><em><span lang=\"pt-BR\">Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz \u2013<\/span> <span lang=\"pt-BR\">Nova York, 2<\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\">8\/<\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\">11\/<\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\">1962<\/span><\/em><span lang=\"pt-BR\">)<br \/>\n<\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\">&#8211; \u201cA paternidade \u00e9 uma coisa boa porque voc\u00ea pode arruinar a vida de algu\u00e9m desde o come\u00e7o.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino, serif; font-size: 18pt; color: #000000;\"><span lang=\"pt-BR\">* <\/span><strong><span lang=\"pt-BR\">Rodney Dangerfield<\/span><\/strong><span lang=\"pt-BR\"> (<\/span><em><span lang=\"pt-BR\">Jacob Cohen \u2013 Long Island, 22\/11\/1921 \u2013 Los Angeles, 5\/10\/2004<\/span><\/em><span lang=\"pt-BR\">)<br \/>\n<\/span><span lang=\"pt-BR\">&#8211; \u201cVou dizer uma coisa para voc\u00eas: eu sei como satisfazer minha mulher na cama; eu levanto.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"15968\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/frases-dos-melhores-humoristas-judeus-9\/cama-3\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Cama.jpg?fit=755%2C500&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"755,500\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Cama\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Cama.jpg?fit=300%2C199&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Cama.jpg?fit=640%2C424&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-15968\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Cama.jpg?resize=300%2C199&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"199\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Cama.jpg?resize=300%2C199&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Cama.jpg?resize=750%2C500&amp;ssl=1 750w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/Cama.jpg?w=755&amp;ssl=1 755w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>* Jack Benny (Benjamin Kubelsky \u2013 Chicago, 14\/2\/1894 \u2013 Beverly Hills, 26\/12\/1974) &#8211; \u201cEu fui no Congresso de Ejaculadores Precoces. Sai antes de terminar.\u201d * Woody Allen (Allan Stewart K\u00f6nigsberg \u2013 Nova York, 1\/12\/1935) &#8211; \u201cA pena de morte seria uma medida mais efetiva se fosse aplicada antes que o crime fosse cometido.\u201d * Fran [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":15968,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-690","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sem-categoria"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Frases dos Melhores Humoristas Judeus (9) | Blog do Guelmann<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/frases-dos-melhores-humoristas-judeus-9\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pt_BR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Frases dos Melhores Humoristas Judeus (9) | Blog do Guelmann\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"* Jack Benny (Benjamin Kubelsky \u2013 Chicago, 14\/2\/1894 \u2013 Beverly Hills, 26\/12\/1974) &#8211; \u201cEu fui no Congresso de Ejaculadores Precoces. 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leio\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Joquei.jpg?fit=1051%2C701&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Joquei.jpg?fit=1051%2C701&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Joquei.jpg?fit=1051%2C701&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Joquei.jpg?fit=1051%2C701&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Joquei.jpg?fit=1051%2C701&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":10046,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/frases-dos-melhores-humoristas-judeus-40\/","url_meta":{"origin":690,"position":1},"title":"Frases dos Melhores Humoristas Judeus (40)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"20 de setembro de 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"*\u00a0Fran Lebowitz\u00a0(Frances Ann Lebowitz \u2013 Nova Jersey, 27\/10\/1950) \u2013 \u201cO sucesso n\u00e3o me mudou em nada. Sempre fui insuport\u00e1vel\u201d.\u00a0 *\u00a0Mel Brooks\u00a0(Melvin Kaminsky \u2013 Nova York (EUA), 28\/6\/1926) \"Quebrei uma perna esquiando na semana passada. Felizmente n\u00e3o era minha\".\u00a0 *\u00a0Rodney Dangerfield\u00a0(Jacob Cohen \u2013 Long Island (EUA), 22\/11\/1921 \u2013 Los Angeles (EUA),\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Rel%C3%B3gio.jpg?fit=750%2C500&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Rel%C3%B3gio.jpg?fit=750%2C500&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Rel%C3%B3gio.jpg?fit=750%2C500&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/Rel%C3%B3gio.jpg?fit=750%2C500&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":9257,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/frases-dos-melhores-humoristas-judeus-38\/","url_meta":{"origin":690,"position":2},"title":"Frases dos Melhores Humoristas Judeus (38)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"8 de setembro de 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"*\u00a0Fran Lebowitz\u00a0(Frances Ann Lebowitz \u2013 Nova Jersey, 27\/10\/1950) - \"Ter sido impopular no col\u00e9gio n\u00e3o \u00e9 justificativa para publicar livros\". *\u00a0Woody Allen\u00a0(Allan Stewart K\u00f6nigsberg \u2013 Nova York, 1\/12\/1935) - \"Eu sou um amante assim t\u00e3o bom porque eu pratico muito sozinho\". *\u00a0Victor Borge\u00a0(B\u00f8rge Rosenbaum \u2013 Copenhague, 3\/1\/1909 \u2013 Greenwich, 23\/12\/2000)\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Janela.jpg?fit=391%2C500&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":22601,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/frases-dos-melhores-humoristas-judeus-53\/","url_meta":{"origin":690,"position":3},"title":"Frases dos Melhores Humoristas Judeus (53)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"3 de janeiro de 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"* Billy Crystal\u00a0(William Edward Crystal \u2013 Nova York, 14\/3\/1948) - \"As mulheres precisam de um motivo para fazer sexo; os homens precisam de um lugar\". *\u00a0Elayne Boosler\u00a0(New York \u2013 18\/8\/1952) - \"Quando as mulheres est\u00e3o deprimidas, v\u00e3o \u00e0s compras. Quando os homens est\u00e3o deprimidos, invadem outro pa\u00eds\". *\u00a0Fran Lebowitz(Frances Ann\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/MULHERES-scaled.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/MULHERES-scaled.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/MULHERES-scaled.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/MULHERES-scaled.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8515,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/frases-dos-melhores-humoristas-judeus-36\/","url_meta":{"origin":690,"position":4},"title":"Frases dos Melhores Humoristas Judeus (36)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"23 de agosto de 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"*\u00a0Henny Youngman\u00a0(Henny Henry Youngmann \u2013 Liverpool, 16\/3\/1906 \u2013 Flushing, 24\/2\/1998) - \"Meu pai era conhecido como o cara mais b\u00eabado da cidade. Na maioria das vezes isso n\u00e3o \u00e9 t\u00e3o ruim, mas estamos falando de Nova York.\" *\u00a0Fran Lebowitz\u00a0(Frances Ann Lebowitz \u2013 Nova Jersey, 27\/10\/1950) - \"Nunca tomei drogas alucin\u00f3genas\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/CHUVA.jpg?fit=400%2C500&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3460,"url":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/frases-dos-melhores-humoristas-judeus-21\/","url_meta":{"origin":690,"position":5},"title":"Frases dos Melhores Humoristas Judeus (21)","author":"Gerson Guelmann","date":"26 de abril de 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"* Rodney Dangerfield\u00a0(Jacob Cohen \u2013 Long Island, 22\/11\/1921 \u2013 Los Angeles,\u00a05\/10\/2004) - \"Coloquei uma camisa e o bot\u00e3o pulou; peguei minha maleta e al\u00e7a soltou. Estou com medo de ir ao banheiro.\" *\u00a0Woody Allen\u00a0(Allan Stewart K\u00f6nigsberg \u2013 Nova York, 1\/12\/1935) - \"Eu fui criado na tradi\u00e7\u00e3o judaica; me ensinaram a\u2026","rel":"","context":"Em &quot;Sem categoria&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Sem categoria","link":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/category\/sem-categoria\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/APOSTAS-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/APOSTAS-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/APOSTAS-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/APOSTAS-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/APOSTAS-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/690","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=690"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/690\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15968"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=690"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=690"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gersonguelmann.com.br\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=690"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}